CHEAT Loaf

I've had some weird meatless loaves in my time. Special K loaf. Nut loaf. Neat loaf. Peace loaf. Lentil loaf.

Every single one of them interesting in its own right, some of them actually tasty, but none of them anywhere close to the flavor or texture of the meatloaves of my childhood. So I began to experiment. I didn't want to use prepared frozen veggie ground, instead preferring to start with a nearly blank slate of TVP so that I could control all the flavors. After an experimental trial, I've come up with the best vegetarian "meat" loaf I've ever had.

- 2 cups TVP
- 1 1/2 cup boiling water
- 3/4 cup rolled oats
- 1 packet onion soup mix
- 2 veggie bullion cubes
- 1 small can tomato paste
- 2 tablespoons Marmite
- 4 tablespoons vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 4 cloves garlic, crushed
- 1 large onion, finely chopped
- 6 oz mushrooms, chopped
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 3/4 cup vital wheat gluten
- 2 eggs, slightly beaten
- 1 teaspoon salt (optional)

Glaze:
- 1 tablespoon ketchup
- 1 tablespoon mustard
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar

Stir together the TVP, oats, onion soup mix, tomato paste, Marmite, Worcestershire, bullion cubes and soy sauce. Pour the boiling water over the mixture, stir briefly, cover and let stand for at least 10 minutes while you prepare the rest of the loaf ingredients.

Saute the onion and mushroom in oil until the onion is translucent and the mushroom is thoroughly cooked. Remove from heat and add the oregano, pepper, and thyme. Cool slightly before combining with the TVP mixture.

Combine the onion mixture, gluten flour, and eggs with the TVP mixture, add salt (if desired) and stir well. Pack the loaf mixture tightly into a well oiled loaf pan, cover with foil, and bake 45 minutes at 350F. Mix all glaze ingredients together, remove foil, spread glaze over the top and bake 30 minutes more. Cool 20 minutes in the pan, gently loosen all edges, slice thickly and enjoy! Makes 10 half-inch slices.

Makes GREAT sandwiches, too.

Also, if you prefer a flatter (ciabatta-shaped) loaf, you can shape it freeform on a baking pan. This gives a greater glaze-to-loaf ratio which I find pleasing, but prefer the easily-sandwiched square shape provided by the loaf pan. For me, making Cheatloaf is really just an excuse to make Cheatloaf sandwiches!

Additional tip: For a more personalized nostalgia experiment, alter the flavorings (herbs, different soup packet, cracker crumbs instead of oatmeal, ketchup on top instead of the mustard glaze, etc) to fit whatever YOUR MOM used to put in her meatloaf! Only don't remove the Marmite, unless she made turkey loaf or something. The Marmite is a really important component of the base flavor of the loaf.

OH, AND. If you use egg replacer instead of eggs (and vegan versions of anything I might not know isn't vegan), this loaf is VEGAN! It's also pretty dang cheap--the most expensive parts are the jar of Marmite and the wheat gluten, and each of those will make several loaves or can be used in other things (tiger toast for the Marmite, homemade seitan for the gluten).

Broccoli Mac!

It does take a little more effort than box macaroni, but it's totally worth it. Besides, it doesn't really take any more time, because you make the sauce while the noodles cook!

The added cottage cheese keeps it creamy and cheesy even with less cheddar, no butter, and less oil. If you want to bake it, sprinkle some buttered bread crumbs on top and bake it in a greased dish at 350F for 30-35 minutes. I'm usually too much in a hurry to want to wait for it to finish baking, so stovetop macaroni is king at our house!

1 cup macaroni (or other smallish pasta)
1 cup frozen broccoli florets
3 tsp olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 tsp flour
1 1/2 cups milk
2 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp Frank's Red Hot
1 cup lowfat cottage cheese, pureed
1 cup grated extra sharp cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Cook pasta according to package directions, adding broccoli to the boiling water during the last 5 minutes of cooking time. Prepare cheese sauce while pasta and broccoli are cooking.

Heat oil in a medium heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook until soft and translucent. Add garlic and cook until fragrant (not more than 2 minutes). Sprinkle the flour over the onions and cook, stirring constantly, for 2-3 minutes or until the mixture is lightly golden.

Gradually whisk in the milk, being careful to avoid lumps. Add the mustard and hot pepper sauce and bring the sauce to a simmer to thicken. Remove from heat, add cottage cheese and cheddar cheese and stir well.

Dump in the (cooked and drained) macaroni and broccoli, stir once more, and then allow to stand, covered, for 5-10 minutes. The sauce will thicken even more as it stands with the pasta.

Season to taste, and consume with gusto.

Serves 2 ravenous eaters.

Definitely lazy, and definitely delicious.

Now I know it doesn't take much to produce a tasty vegetarian dessert, especially if you're not trying to make it vegan, but these cookies are so crazily, insanely easy and so madly, addictively delicious that they have to be made famous throughout the world. I mean, COME ON PEOPLE! They only have 5 ingredients!!

Peanut Butter Cookies!
1 cup reduced fat peanut butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 tablespoon flour

Mix all ingredients together well. Bake at 350F for 8-10 minutes.

And that's it! Put some chocolate chips in there if you want, or some grated ginger and little bit of crisped rice. Maybe the idea of peanut butter and jam thumbprints appeals to you. They're all delicious. Trust me, I've tried them!

Go forth, eat cookies, and be happy!

Curried Lentils with Basmati Rice

Based on a recipe for Indian Lentil Pilaf from Vegetarian Times, but heavily modified when said recipe turned out to be unacceptably bland.

- 1 cup brown lentils, rinsed and sorted
- 2 teaspoons olive oil
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 3 medium, diced
- 1 cup basmati rice
- 4 large cloves garlic, crushed and chopped
- 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
- 1 regular sized can petite diced tomatoes, with juices
- 1.5 cups vegetable broth (or water)
- 1 cup frozen chopped spinach
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 tablespoon garam masala
- 1 tablespoon curry powder
- plain yogurt and chopped cilantro for garnish

Bring lentils and 4 cups water to a boil in a large pot. Reduce heat and simmer 15-20 minutes, or until lentils are al dente. Drain, reserving 1 cup of lentil water, and set aside.

Wipe out the pot, then return it to the stove and cook the onions over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they acquire a deep golden color. Add the rice, garlic, and ginger and cook for 3-4 minutes, or until the rice is evenly coated with oil and beginning to smell toasty.

Stir in tomatoes, broth, lentils, and reserved lentil water, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook 20 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. While the pilaf is cooking, melt the butter in a small skillet over medium heat until the foam has subsided. Stir the garam masala and curry powder into the hot butter, and stir fry the spices until they are fragrant, approximately 2 minutes. After 20 minutes, remove the pilaf from heat, stir in the spice butter and spinach, and allow to stand, covered, for 10 minutes.

Stir the pilaf once more before serving to distribute the spinach, add salt to taste, and serve topped with plain yogurt and chopped cilantro. Serves 6 to 8.