CHEAT Loaf

I've had some weird meatless loaves in my time. Special K loaf. Nut loaf. Neat loaf. Peace loaf. Lentil loaf.

Every single one of them interesting in its own right, some of them actually tasty, but none of them anywhere close to the flavor or texture of the meatloaves of my childhood. So I began to experiment. I didn't want to use prepared frozen veggie ground, instead preferring to start with a nearly blank slate of TVP so that I could control all the flavors. After an experimental trial, I've come up with the best vegetarian "meat" loaf I've ever had.

- 2 cups TVP
- 1 1/2 cup boiling water
- 3/4 cup rolled oats
- 1 packet onion soup mix
- 2 veggie bullion cubes
- 1 small can tomato paste
- 2 tablespoons Marmite
- 4 tablespoons vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 4 cloves garlic, crushed
- 1 large onion, finely chopped
- 6 oz mushrooms, chopped
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 3/4 cup vital wheat gluten
- 2 eggs, slightly beaten
- 1 teaspoon salt (optional)

Glaze:
- 1 tablespoon ketchup
- 1 tablespoon mustard
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar

Stir together the TVP, oats, onion soup mix, tomato paste, Marmite, Worcestershire, bullion cubes and soy sauce. Pour the boiling water over the mixture, stir briefly, cover and let stand for at least 10 minutes while you prepare the rest of the loaf ingredients.

Saute the onion and mushroom in oil until the onion is translucent and the mushroom is thoroughly cooked. Remove from heat and add the oregano, pepper, and thyme. Cool slightly before combining with the TVP mixture.

Combine the onion mixture, gluten flour, and eggs with the TVP mixture, add salt (if desired) and stir well. Pack the loaf mixture tightly into a well oiled loaf pan, cover with foil, and bake 45 minutes at 350F. Mix all glaze ingredients together, remove foil, spread glaze over the top and bake 30 minutes more. Cool 20 minutes in the pan, gently loosen all edges, slice thickly and enjoy! Makes 10 half-inch slices.

Makes GREAT sandwiches, too.

Also, if you prefer a flatter (ciabatta-shaped) loaf, you can shape it freeform on a baking pan. This gives a greater glaze-to-loaf ratio which I find pleasing, but prefer the easily-sandwiched square shape provided by the loaf pan. For me, making Cheatloaf is really just an excuse to make Cheatloaf sandwiches!

Additional tip: For a more personalized nostalgia experiment, alter the flavorings (herbs, different soup packet, cracker crumbs instead of oatmeal, ketchup on top instead of the mustard glaze, etc) to fit whatever YOUR MOM used to put in her meatloaf! Only don't remove the Marmite, unless she made turkey loaf or something. The Marmite is a really important component of the base flavor of the loaf.

OH, AND. If you use egg replacer instead of eggs (and vegan versions of anything I might not know isn't vegan), this loaf is VEGAN! It's also pretty dang cheap--the most expensive parts are the jar of Marmite and the wheat gluten, and each of those will make several loaves or can be used in other things (tiger toast for the Marmite, homemade seitan for the gluten).

Broccoli Mac!

It does take a little more effort than box macaroni, but it's totally worth it. Besides, it doesn't really take any more time, because you make the sauce while the noodles cook!

The added cottage cheese keeps it creamy and cheesy even with less cheddar, no butter, and less oil. If you want to bake it, sprinkle some buttered bread crumbs on top and bake it in a greased dish at 350F for 30-35 minutes. I'm usually too much in a hurry to want to wait for it to finish baking, so stovetop macaroni is king at our house!

1 cup macaroni (or other smallish pasta)
1 cup frozen broccoli florets
3 tsp olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 tsp flour
1 1/2 cups milk
2 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp Frank's Red Hot
1 cup lowfat cottage cheese, pureed
1 cup grated extra sharp cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Cook pasta according to package directions, adding broccoli to the boiling water during the last 5 minutes of cooking time. Prepare cheese sauce while pasta and broccoli are cooking.

Heat oil in a medium heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook until soft and translucent. Add garlic and cook until fragrant (not more than 2 minutes). Sprinkle the flour over the onions and cook, stirring constantly, for 2-3 minutes or until the mixture is lightly golden.

Gradually whisk in the milk, being careful to avoid lumps. Add the mustard and hot pepper sauce and bring the sauce to a simmer to thicken. Remove from heat, add cottage cheese and cheddar cheese and stir well.

Dump in the (cooked and drained) macaroni and broccoli, stir once more, and then allow to stand, covered, for 5-10 minutes. The sauce will thicken even more as it stands with the pasta.

Season to taste, and consume with gusto.

Serves 2 ravenous eaters.

Definitely lazy, and definitely delicious.

Now I know it doesn't take much to produce a tasty vegetarian dessert, especially if you're not trying to make it vegan, but these cookies are so crazily, insanely easy and so madly, addictively delicious that they have to be made famous throughout the world. I mean, COME ON PEOPLE! They only have 5 ingredients!!

Peanut Butter Cookies!
1 cup reduced fat peanut butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 tablespoon flour

Mix all ingredients together well. Bake at 350F for 8-10 minutes.

And that's it! Put some chocolate chips in there if you want, or some grated ginger and little bit of crisped rice. Maybe the idea of peanut butter and jam thumbprints appeals to you. They're all delicious. Trust me, I've tried them!

Go forth, eat cookies, and be happy!

Curried Lentils with Basmati Rice

Based on a recipe for Indian Lentil Pilaf from Vegetarian Times, but heavily modified when said recipe turned out to be unacceptably bland.

- 1 cup brown lentils, rinsed and sorted
- 2 teaspoons olive oil
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 3 medium, diced
- 1 cup basmati rice
- 4 large cloves garlic, crushed and chopped
- 1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
- 1 regular sized can petite diced tomatoes, with juices
- 1.5 cups vegetable broth (or water)
- 1 cup frozen chopped spinach
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 tablespoon garam masala
- 1 tablespoon curry powder
- plain yogurt and chopped cilantro for garnish

Bring lentils and 4 cups water to a boil in a large pot. Reduce heat and simmer 15-20 minutes, or until lentils are al dente. Drain, reserving 1 cup of lentil water, and set aside.

Wipe out the pot, then return it to the stove and cook the onions over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they acquire a deep golden color. Add the rice, garlic, and ginger and cook for 3-4 minutes, or until the rice is evenly coated with oil and beginning to smell toasty.

Stir in tomatoes, broth, lentils, and reserved lentil water, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook 20 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. While the pilaf is cooking, melt the butter in a small skillet over medium heat until the foam has subsided. Stir the garam masala and curry powder into the hot butter, and stir fry the spices until they are fragrant, approximately 2 minutes. After 20 minutes, remove the pilaf from heat, stir in the spice butter and spinach, and allow to stand, covered, for 10 minutes.

Stir the pilaf once more before serving to distribute the spinach, add salt to taste, and serve topped with plain yogurt and chopped cilantro. Serves 6 to 8.

Cameraphones are terrible cameras.

If, despite that awful photo, something about tonight's dinner appeals to you, proceed as follows.

Put on a pot of rice while you decide what should go with it. Drop in a couple bay leaves to flavor it while it cooks. Set the timer about halfway through since you forgot to set it when the rice came to a boil.

While the rice cooks, root through your pantry and the boxes that contain some pantry items (disregard this second part if you haven't just moved house). Eventually discover a can of black beans and a jar of salsa verde. Mexicanesque ideas will overwhelm you.

About now, the rice should be approximately halfway done. Or maybe even completely done if you used converted rice (which I don't recommend, but have in my house for some bizarre reason and need to use up). Wherever the rice is in its cooking process, you should chop up some cilantro. Or parsley. Or whatever you like. You should also look in the fridge and get out the salsa you made for Sunday's breakfast. It's a pretty fast recipe, so you could probably even make some salsa right now, if you want to inconvenience yourself for 3.5 minutes or so. Oh, and find some corn. Frozen, canned, whatever.

Now open up the black beans and the corn and the salsa verde (and do whatever needs to be done for your rice situation). Dump about half the bean juice out, and put in a quarter to half a cup of salsa verde. Microwave the beans for 2 minutes, or until hot. Get your rice off the stove and add a big handful of cilantro, a couple spoonsful of cilantro, and some corn. Stir it all up and make a plate.

Look at your plate and decide it's lacking in greenstuffs. Return to the fridge and find a bag of butter lettuce mix, but no satisfactory dressings. If you look behind the mountain of your fiance's Jell-O cups and move aside that 6 pack of Sam Adams Oktoberfest, you'll find a container of plain yogurt. Success! Now, go look in the makeshift pantry you keep in the (rarely used) bathroom and dig out the balsamic vinegar. Put some yogurt and balsamic in a tiny fish-shaped Japanese-style condiment dish and quickly discover that though cute, the dish is far too small to accomodate the amount of stirring necessary for blending a dressing. Stir it up anyway and wipe up the mess with a paper towel.

Drop a few handfuls of salad mix on the plate (and a few lettuce leaves on the floor), drizzle over the dressing, and, as an afterthought, crumble some queso fresco over the beans.

Put in a DVD (Rushmore, if'n you're sticking to my plan), settle in on the couch, being sure to hog the whole thing as the fiance is away at class, and enjoy your evening!

Now Even More Delicious!

I've posted a recipe for peanut sauce before, but reading the newest issue of Vegetarian Times gave me an idea for an even better version. It's simpler, tastier, and quicker to make. This is probably the best peanut sauce dish I've ever eaten. It's so great, in fact, that we ate it 3 times in one week.


Spicy Peanut Udon and Veggies

For the sauce:
- one third cup peanut butter (I like creamy, but crunchy would work, too)
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce, or to taste
- 2 cloves garlic, pressed or finely minced
- 2 teaspoons rice vinegar

- 6 oz udon noodles, cooked according to package directions
- 8 oz frozen vegetables, steamed or stir-fried (I used a mix including sugar snap peas, green beans, carrots, broccoli, water chestnuts, and red peppers)
- one-half cup frozen edamame (optional)
- 3 large scallions, diagonally sliced about one quarter inch thick
- one quarter cup chopped cilantro (cilantro haters may substitute basil or parsley)
- lime wedges (optional)

Whisk together the sauce ingredients in a large bowl with about a quarter cup of hot water (I used water from the boiling pasta pot). The sauce should be about the consistency of heavy cream, so thin it with additional hot water if necessary.

When the pasta and vegetables are cooked, add them to the sauce along with the frozen edamame, scallions, and cilantro. Toss well and serve with lime wedges. Serves 4.

I made a second version of this dish last week, which was just about as perfect as the original. It was after midnight, and we had spent the last 12 hours moving and cleaning. All I could find food-wise was a packet of ramen, a jar of peanut butter, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and Sriracha sauce. A very light dinner for 2 was had.

Midnight Peanut Ramen
- 1 packet ramen noodles (discard flavor packet if it isn't vegetarian friendly)
- 2 tablespoons peanut butter
- 1 tablespoon soy sauce
- 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
- 1 teaspoon Sriracha sauce

Cook ramen according to package directions. When noodles are done, add remaining ingredients (along with whatever else you might have in the pantry or fridge that sounds good) and stir well. Consume with gusto. Serves 2 as a midnight snack or 1 as a dinner soup.

The creamy, peanutty broth was particularly satisfying after a long day, and has set my mind to wondering about the possibilities of a peanut soup. Maybe with some coconut milk? Or even some roasted pumpkin? Perhaps when fall comes around I'll start working on that...

Mushroom Stroganoff

Yet another dish I never ate as a child unless you count convenience food versions. Hamburger Helper this time, rather than Campbell's Soup. Even though I never ate the real deal and only have photos and imagination to base this recipe on, I've managed to get carnivore approval on this one 3 times over!

- 2 cloves garlic, crushed
- 1 white onion, halved and cut in half inch slices
- 8 oz mushrooms, sliced (your choice, I've used white buttons and portabellas with equal success)
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 tablespoons flour
- 1 can evaporated skim milk + half a can water (liquids at room temperature)
- half a teaspoon Dijon mustard
- 4 dashes vegetarian Worcestershire sauce
- 1 teaspoon dried dill (optional)
- salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
- two-thirds cup frozen peas

Egg noodles tossed with parsley and butter
Sour cream or yogurt

Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add one tablespoon of oil, mushrooms, onions and a pinch of salt. Stir well and cook, covered, for 2 minutes (If you've planned well, your pasta water is boiling. Put your egg noodles in during this step!). Watch out for a huge cloud of steam when you lift the lid. Now saute the onions and mushrooms until everything is soft and beginning to brown. Add in the garlic and cook until fragrant, just another minute or so. By now, the pan should be fairly dry, so go ahead and stir in the second tablespoon of oil, give it a minute to heat up, and then sprinkle the flour over everything. Stir well, until everything is coated with the floury roux, and then cook, stirring continuously for 2-3 minutes.

Continuing to stir constantly, pour in the canned milk and then just enough water to make a slightly-too-thin sauce. Bring to a boil, and then lower the heat to simmering. The sauce will begin to thicken. If it gets too thick, add a touch more water (preferably from the egg noodles you're cooking).

Stir in the Worcestershire, Dijon mustard, peas, dill, and season to taste. Cover and remove from heat. Allow to stand for 5 minutes to let the peas heat through. Spoon over egg noodles and top with a dollop of sour cream or yogurt.